Longer and Longer: Another Extension for May

As MPs leave the Commons for their Easter break, I’m taking time out of mine to bring you my weekly report on the chaos that we call ‘the news’. Just as last week, you may be aware that we are still in the EU, despite the revised leave date of the 12th having passed on Friday. This is because earlier in the week May went back to Brussels (her Eurostar loyalty card must be overflowing with points by now) to grovel once again for just a little more time, but first, she had to make some house-calls on the way.

Illustration by Rhiannon Powell

First to find the beleaguered PM on their doorstep was German leader Angela ‘on her way out’ Merkel who Theresa dropped in to see just to be sure that she wouldn’t get in the way of the EU giving another extension. After Merkle offered no strong feelings either way she moved on to a harder nut to crack, French President Emmanuel ‘Le Roi’ Macron, the boy wonder. Macron has been publicly hostile to the UK request for more time for weeks, he is quite happy to see us crash out with no deal and would rather that happen than us lingering on and getting in the way of his grand projet to bring the EU into even further political union.

After a frosty welcome in Paris, although somehow May manages to bring the chill of the grave to any event, negotiations went on behind closed doors. However, miracle of miracles, when President and PM emerged from the Élysée Palace an agreement had been reached. But it wasn’t une promenade dan